I am pretty much amazed that after only four months writing blogs on WordPress and only one doing Twitter, both feeding through each other onto my Facebook page, I have found almost a hundred followers of my blog and eleven on my Twitter account.
I mean… WHY? If I knew what you liked about my posts, then I’d know I’d have some sort of effect and would know how to direct that. If I knew what you all wanted from me then I could make sure I deliver that. But the silence following this question is almost deafening. I have put it out there a few times now and have yet to hear a response.
Now I have noted that a couple of those followers are actually just advertisers, looking to rake up their follower count and get their advertisements out there by pretending to like someone. But some of you really seem interested in what I have to say and for the life of me I cannot figure out why.
In my childhood I was mostly left alone as I was a difficult child who was hard to manage. And basically I did fine on my own as making connections with others was rare and difficult for me. I blame my autism for this, but basically it defines who I am, a solitaire man who can enjoy himself by staring out a window, his mind immersed with thoughts of what if and stories to be written. I don’t think I have changed much from the boy I was then, apart from a more mellow and positive outlook on life. No longer am I bound by expectations of others to succeed, but somehow I have taken that into me and now pressure myself to be some sort of success, to find some sort of reverence that I missed in my youth and now seemingly are seeking in my adult life. But much like the Joker in Batman, when I actually get what I am looking for I have no idea what to do with it. I just like what I see, I love how it makes me feel, and long for more of it. This is my nature, this is who I am.
So this blog post is in honor of you, my fans, my followers, my Facebook friends.
Just let me know what you like and I’ll do a special tribute. Let me repay your kindness in willingness to read my thoughts and writings with more of it.