So when people find out I write, I always get the same questions.
1. Have you published,
2. Have I read any of your work? and
3. Can you live off it?
These answers are quite simple. 1. yes, 2. probably not and 3. not a chance.
Writing is not about earning or fame. It is because it has to be. Sounds cryptic, but it means that I have to write as I can not not write. Writing is my passion, my blood. It is the first thing that I think about as I wake up in the morning and the last thing on my mind when I go to bed, and all the time in between. Even my dreams are partly about stories and I use bits of it in what I write. As I *stands up proudly* am a Writer.
People generally are satisfied with these answers, or see me as a complete self-indulgant childish prick, which is also fine with me because it is not about me but about their perception of me which means it is about them, not me.
But some have more questions, and this is where things get tricky.
4. How do you write?
5. How do you publish?
6. Do you self-publish or though an publishing house?
7. Do you have an agent?
8. Can I be your agent?
9. I would love to write. (not a question, but it is proposed as one as it is expected I immediately jump in to help them achieve it)
10. Can you teach me to write? (annndd there it is)
11. Will you teach me how to write?
This is often where i get kind of stand-off-ish as the questions are either getting too personal or are demanding. So here we go: 4. read my book, 5. read my book, 6. read my book, 7. sadly, no. 8. sadly, no, 9. So what’s the question here? 10. Yes, but it will be expensive, 11. I think it’s better of you read my book.
So there. That is done with. But people who went on to ask intimate questions often have boundary issues, or at least issues with where I lay my boundaries, so the questions continue:
13. I have such a busy life. Where do you find the time to write?
I make time. Life is about choices and I choose to write. I have built my life so I can write. The real question here is: why don’t you write?
14. What do you live on if it doesn’t pay the bills?
And there you have it. The ultimate question, money. It makes the world go round, fuels cars, destroys small nations, but in the end everyone is trying to line their pockets and wonder how someone else does it.
The short answer is: I am kept.
The long answer is: I have lived my life as I wanted to and not by social convention or what was expected of me to do. It had it’s highs, it had it’s lows, it had medication, it all turned out alright. I have loved and I have lost (a lot), and by sheer luck, prophecy or divine intervention, take your pick, I met this amazing woman. When we met, we decided not to try and change each other, but accept each other as we are. I was always a dreamer, setting up my life to follow what I felt and not what I thought, and she has built her life on knowledge and through that got a very decent job. I do laundry, she does the shopping, I do dishes, she cooks. It is through this, and I think only through this we are still towards each other as in the first months we said yes to each other. Sure some things has changed, but in a relationship there are bound to be some changes do to simple over-exposure and being around each other. As every relationship we have had our ups and downs, but never have we decided we are better for it if we were not together. With her, I can just be who I was born to be, a Writer.
Honey, I know you’ll be reading this as I told you I was writing about you and I know you well enough to know you will check this blog, but as I said, nothing but good things, as we plan our lives remembering the good things and forgetting the bad. I love you. Never let me forget that, even in my worst days, and in return I will come and kiss you goodnight, make you smile and kiss you on the shoulder as I come to bed each night… unless you tell me I don’t have to, in which case I still might do. 🙂
So there it is, the Q & A about my life. he rest of it is private, unless I trust you, but it is unlikely I will tell you about it when I ask, and will probably find it impertinent if you do.
Signed, Edward Nigma